Tuesday, August 25, 2009
We're Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the blog has been down for quite a while now. My partner in crime had left me to run the blog thing myself and I got run down doing at alone. I give people who run their own blogs mad props for all of the work they do. None the less, last week I was thinking of tweaking the blog and bringing it back. So there are some drastic visual changes, and there will be more in the coming weeks. Stick with us as we step up our game and hopefully provide some entertainment and a forum to vent some frustration for all of us. As always, we strongly encourage people to comment, even if you strongly disagree with what we have to say. We do have a tracker, allowing us to keep tabs on any lurkers. Don't just come to our blog, write on our blog. And if you have something you feel strongly about, we will definitely put up guest posts!
Monday, August 24, 2009
A New Art: The Crash
There is a new style of art that has emerged from society’s dark underground to become a social forerunner of our generation. Although the art of wedding crashing does not accent the vibrant colors of a Picasso or charm the soul such as music, it electrifies the mind and body.
There are some people that get offended and are not accepting of wedding crashing. Please, don’t get me wrong, I understand people are entitled to their own opinions however, until they have fully experienced a crash, those people are ignorant and closed minded. I feel that these people are gutless and socially inept.
It is sad that there are people in the world that lack the confidence in themselves to take risks and to enjoy not only the rush of a crash but the memories of the crash. To me, those that dismiss wedding crashing without experiencing one, carry similar negative traits with them in their personal and professional lives. These are the types of people that hide in the corner and refuse to take risks. They spend their weekends at home with the dog instead of enjoying life. Overall, these individuals lack the mental capacity to understand life outside the box and how amazing the bigger picture actually is. That is pathetic and unfortunate… unfortunately these are traits that go beyond wedding crashing…
Sure, there are the closed minded people that feel that wedding crashing is absurd, immature and tacky. They feel that it is wrong to crash weddings because it is offensive to the family and to the couple. Many of these individuals are not married themselves and have not experienced the sacrament of marriage through their own eyes. They are not fortunate or again, too blind to understand the full meaning of a wedding celebration and that it goes far beyond the guestbook.
Weddings are a time of celebration, a chance to slip on the dancing shoes and an opportunity to forget about the stresses of the world and indulge in a few cocktails. On my wedding day, it did not matter who came, my focus was on my bride. If outsiders honored us by taking the time out of their day to watch me and my beautiful wife get married who am I to say otherwise.
Weddings are like sex. From the planning stages to the tears of happiness at the ceremony, being able to feel the eternal love between the bride and groom as they dance their first dance, experiencing how proud a father and mother are of their children and what this day truly means, and of course the fun and freedom of the dance floor, the body and mind is put in a state of euphoria… it is truly orgasmic.
Crashing allows us to experience these emotions over and over. Movies and film have created a negative image of wedding crashing. Again, those close minded people that can’t see the world outside the box only see wedding crashing as portrayed in the movies… ass hole drunks trying to get laid. They are blind to the bigger picture of how fulfilling it is to be apart of a wedding experience. There will always be a sense of personal accomplishment by taking a huge social risk and crashing a wedding but there will also be that feeling that only those who have crashed can experience. It creates a mental bond between crashers and allows us to see how pathetic those that judge without experience actually are.
There are some people that get offended and are not accepting of wedding crashing. Please, don’t get me wrong, I understand people are entitled to their own opinions however, until they have fully experienced a crash, those people are ignorant and closed minded. I feel that these people are gutless and socially inept.
It is sad that there are people in the world that lack the confidence in themselves to take risks and to enjoy not only the rush of a crash but the memories of the crash. To me, those that dismiss wedding crashing without experiencing one, carry similar negative traits with them in their personal and professional lives. These are the types of people that hide in the corner and refuse to take risks. They spend their weekends at home with the dog instead of enjoying life. Overall, these individuals lack the mental capacity to understand life outside the box and how amazing the bigger picture actually is. That is pathetic and unfortunate… unfortunately these are traits that go beyond wedding crashing…
Sure, there are the closed minded people that feel that wedding crashing is absurd, immature and tacky. They feel that it is wrong to crash weddings because it is offensive to the family and to the couple. Many of these individuals are not married themselves and have not experienced the sacrament of marriage through their own eyes. They are not fortunate or again, too blind to understand the full meaning of a wedding celebration and that it goes far beyond the guestbook.
Weddings are a time of celebration, a chance to slip on the dancing shoes and an opportunity to forget about the stresses of the world and indulge in a few cocktails. On my wedding day, it did not matter who came, my focus was on my bride. If outsiders honored us by taking the time out of their day to watch me and my beautiful wife get married who am I to say otherwise.
Weddings are like sex. From the planning stages to the tears of happiness at the ceremony, being able to feel the eternal love between the bride and groom as they dance their first dance, experiencing how proud a father and mother are of their children and what this day truly means, and of course the fun and freedom of the dance floor, the body and mind is put in a state of euphoria… it is truly orgasmic.
Crashing allows us to experience these emotions over and over. Movies and film have created a negative image of wedding crashing. Again, those close minded people that can’t see the world outside the box only see wedding crashing as portrayed in the movies… ass hole drunks trying to get laid. They are blind to the bigger picture of how fulfilling it is to be apart of a wedding experience. There will always be a sense of personal accomplishment by taking a huge social risk and crashing a wedding but there will also be that feeling that only those who have crashed can experience. It creates a mental bond between crashers and allows us to see how pathetic those that judge without experience actually are.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Further evidence why old people suck ass....
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/05/04/samesex.marriage.poll/index.html?iref=newssearch
This poll is just more evidence that old people suck. They have different values, and are far more prejudicial than their children/grandchildren/great grandchildren. One of the problems with everyone living older is the bigots, misogynists, and general pains in the asses don't die....ever.....they just keep living.
In so many issues it seems that the younger generation is more progressive, humane, and intelligent (come on... All people really aren't equal? Burning a non-renewable resource that can almost only be purchased from our enemies is a good energy plan? The death penalty for minors and mentally disabled people is humane? Joba belongs in the bullpen?), but they won't be able to break through and make real change until the geezers pass on. It's a shame because many of these old farts have done wonderful things in their lives and could really pass on some important knowledge. But their past biases prevent them from being taken seriously, and cause the rest of us to live in a society that is lesser than it could be.
So my advice for the gay community is to keep striving for the equality that you deserve. But don't plan on getting that equality until today's 20 somethings actually have political power. This battle is only several thousand years old, so patiently working toward equality for 10-20 years (though unacceptable), doesn't sound too terrible (I know that is easy for me to say). If our generation doesn't get the job done, I will be very disappointed in all of us.
This poll is just more evidence that old people suck. They have different values, and are far more prejudicial than their children/grandchildren/great grandchildren. One of the problems with everyone living older is the bigots, misogynists, and general pains in the asses don't die....ever.....they just keep living.
In so many issues it seems that the younger generation is more progressive, humane, and intelligent (come on... All people really aren't equal? Burning a non-renewable resource that can almost only be purchased from our enemies is a good energy plan? The death penalty for minors and mentally disabled people is humane? Joba belongs in the bullpen?), but they won't be able to break through and make real change until the geezers pass on. It's a shame because many of these old farts have done wonderful things in their lives and could really pass on some important knowledge. But their past biases prevent them from being taken seriously, and cause the rest of us to live in a society that is lesser than it could be.
So my advice for the gay community is to keep striving for the equality that you deserve. But don't plan on getting that equality until today's 20 somethings actually have political power. This battle is only several thousand years old, so patiently working toward equality for 10-20 years (though unacceptable), doesn't sound too terrible (I know that is easy for me to say). If our generation doesn't get the job done, I will be very disappointed in all of us.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Ownership is Patriotic
Land ownership is one of the values that our country was founded on. The United States was a place were anyone could get land and build a life for themselves. It was something that people in Europe never had the opportunity to do. If you weren't born into land or acquire it through marriage, you were pretty much fucked to be a 2nd class citizen your entire life.
It is a very exciting rite of passage for people to join the ownership level of society. It shows maturity, seriousness, and balls. So my buddy Frank the Tank and his wonderful fiance just recently bought a house. The Angry Sailor and his pain in the ass wife (just kidding! Your dog is a pain in the ass, your wife is great!) bought a home late last summer. So many other people I know have been trying to get into home ownership, and that is awesome. You are patriotic Americans and I salute you. You assholes that are perfectly content to rent....well you're commie pinkos to me! That is all.
It is a very exciting rite of passage for people to join the ownership level of society. It shows maturity, seriousness, and balls. So my buddy Frank the Tank and his wonderful fiance just recently bought a house. The Angry Sailor and his pain in the ass wife (just kidding! Your dog is a pain in the ass, your wife is great!) bought a home late last summer. So many other people I know have been trying to get into home ownership, and that is awesome. You are patriotic Americans and I salute you. You assholes that are perfectly content to rent....well you're commie pinkos to me! That is all.
The Half
So I'm a stupid, horse's ass. Let's just start with that.
Instead of doing the smart thing of having a nice, balanced dinner and going to bed early on Friday night, I partied almost like a rock star. 6 Jack and Coke Zeroes later, I was trying to go to sleep at 1245am, with a 6am wake-up call looming. The Angry Sailor definitely was no help. It was so much fun to hang with my bro that I broke the rules. And then I paid the price....
I woke up 30minutes before my alarm. I just laid there thinking, damn I'm exhausted. Why the hell am I getting up so early on a Saturday?! I was also worried about the strange, unhappy feeling in my stomach. After forcing down some OJ, my daily coffee, and an English Muffin with peanut butter, Tank and I departed for the race.
About halfway to the park where the half was taking place my stomach starting being quite upset. I mentioned something to Frank the Tank, but we both quickly dismissed it (I wanted to keep him cool, as it was my boy's first half). After arriving at the park we met some nice people, stretched, and I was starting to feel better. The fresh air and great company was invigorating. We met the MAYOR of Chesapeake VA. He came up and shook Tank's hand, and BSed with us and the people in front of us for a minute or two.
We lined up, listened to the national anthem, and started moving. I was feeling pretty good, not 100%, but definitely not bad. The first 3 miles flew by, and I was right on pace to be where I wanted to be. At that point, I knew in 1/2 mile was the 2nd water station, which was to be my first water stop. The thought of putting anything in my stomach didn't sound too great, but I figured I had to start drinking water or I would never complete the race. So when I arrived, I slowly sipped the water, power walking through the station (I have not mastered the drink and run technique, and even walking I end up wearing more water than drinking). It felt like I was trying to swallow a bowling ball. Not a pleasant thing to do. I wasn't able to get much water in, and was quite worried about dehydration.
Shortly after trying to drink that water I felt an terrible feeling of nauseousness take hold of me. I felt like hell. I felt like a man who got 4.5hrs of sleep and drank too much Jack Daniels the night before a race. Approaching the 5 mile mark, the next water station, I busted out my energy beans as I was starting to drag a little bit. I could barely swallow the 2 beans with the water. Immediately this felt like a mistake. I kept going, but damn it wasn't good. Shortly after turning around at the 6.55mile mark, I lost it. The beans, the water, some the muffin, and definitely some Jack Daniels. It was quick, explosive, and painful. I knew I was FUCKED! I was about as far away as I could possibly be from the finish (the course was an out 6.55 miles and back the same route), and I was dehydrated, unable to drink water, and miserable. If I gave up I'd still have to walk over 6miles, but if I ran it would be the worst 6 miles of my life. I bargained with myself to keep moving forward (it definitely wasn't running, more so falling forward and having my feet catch me). I made it to the water station at the 8mile mark. I tried to force some more water, but it got halfway down my throat and I wretched it right back out.
From here until the last 1/2 mile I had to continually bargain with myself. I would run a quarter mile, power walk a quarter. When I got to the 11mile mark, I told myself I would run until the finish, no matter how painful it was. Well that last 1/2 mile. I walked another quarter, ran another half, walked another quarter and then finally pushed through the last 1/2 mile (I even found the energy to sprint the home stretch, for which I was rewarded by wretching and trying to vomit on the poor bastard trying to give me my medal for completing this trail of tears).
So I put myself through hell and finished the damn thing. But the end result was that I was about 1minute 30seconds slower than last year.....despite being HUNG OVER! The real question, was it worth it to party with my friends the night before the race? I've been training for about 3 months, running long distances and short distances when sometimes it would be way more fun to just sit on the couch and watch a game. Well you're damn right it was worth it! If you can't live your life and have fun with your friends, there is no point in running. You just better be ready to deal with the consequences of being a horse's ass!
Instead of doing the smart thing of having a nice, balanced dinner and going to bed early on Friday night, I partied almost like a rock star. 6 Jack and Coke Zeroes later, I was trying to go to sleep at 1245am, with a 6am wake-up call looming. The Angry Sailor definitely was no help. It was so much fun to hang with my bro that I broke the rules. And then I paid the price....
I woke up 30minutes before my alarm. I just laid there thinking, damn I'm exhausted. Why the hell am I getting up so early on a Saturday?! I was also worried about the strange, unhappy feeling in my stomach. After forcing down some OJ, my daily coffee, and an English Muffin with peanut butter, Tank and I departed for the race.
About halfway to the park where the half was taking place my stomach starting being quite upset. I mentioned something to Frank the Tank, but we both quickly dismissed it (I wanted to keep him cool, as it was my boy's first half). After arriving at the park we met some nice people, stretched, and I was starting to feel better. The fresh air and great company was invigorating. We met the MAYOR of Chesapeake VA. He came up and shook Tank's hand, and BSed with us and the people in front of us for a minute or two.
We lined up, listened to the national anthem, and started moving. I was feeling pretty good, not 100%, but definitely not bad. The first 3 miles flew by, and I was right on pace to be where I wanted to be. At that point, I knew in 1/2 mile was the 2nd water station, which was to be my first water stop. The thought of putting anything in my stomach didn't sound too great, but I figured I had to start drinking water or I would never complete the race. So when I arrived, I slowly sipped the water, power walking through the station (I have not mastered the drink and run technique, and even walking I end up wearing more water than drinking). It felt like I was trying to swallow a bowling ball. Not a pleasant thing to do. I wasn't able to get much water in, and was quite worried about dehydration.
Shortly after trying to drink that water I felt an terrible feeling of nauseousness take hold of me. I felt like hell. I felt like a man who got 4.5hrs of sleep and drank too much Jack Daniels the night before a race. Approaching the 5 mile mark, the next water station, I busted out my energy beans as I was starting to drag a little bit. I could barely swallow the 2 beans with the water. Immediately this felt like a mistake. I kept going, but damn it wasn't good. Shortly after turning around at the 6.55mile mark, I lost it. The beans, the water, some the muffin, and definitely some Jack Daniels. It was quick, explosive, and painful. I knew I was FUCKED! I was about as far away as I could possibly be from the finish (the course was an out 6.55 miles and back the same route), and I was dehydrated, unable to drink water, and miserable. If I gave up I'd still have to walk over 6miles, but if I ran it would be the worst 6 miles of my life. I bargained with myself to keep moving forward (it definitely wasn't running, more so falling forward and having my feet catch me). I made it to the water station at the 8mile mark. I tried to force some more water, but it got halfway down my throat and I wretched it right back out.
From here until the last 1/2 mile I had to continually bargain with myself. I would run a quarter mile, power walk a quarter. When I got to the 11mile mark, I told myself I would run until the finish, no matter how painful it was. Well that last 1/2 mile. I walked another quarter, ran another half, walked another quarter and then finally pushed through the last 1/2 mile (I even found the energy to sprint the home stretch, for which I was rewarded by wretching and trying to vomit on the poor bastard trying to give me my medal for completing this trail of tears).
So I put myself through hell and finished the damn thing. But the end result was that I was about 1minute 30seconds slower than last year.....despite being HUNG OVER! The real question, was it worth it to party with my friends the night before the race? I've been training for about 3 months, running long distances and short distances when sometimes it would be way more fun to just sit on the couch and watch a game. Well you're damn right it was worth it! If you can't live your life and have fun with your friends, there is no point in running. You just better be ready to deal with the consequences of being a horse's ass!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Looking forward to the weekend!
So I'm looking forward to this weekend! I am running a half marathon with my bro Frank the Tank. I'm real slow, he's real fast, I'm still not in very good shape despite running for about a year and a half (apparently you can't run 4 days a week and drink 20-30 beers per weekend and expect to loose weight!), while he's in great shape after running for about 9 months, but for both of us it is a culmination of working very hard toward a goal for the past several months. The sense of accomplishment when you cross the finish line makes all of the blisters, sun burns, cramps, and general miserableness worth it. And then I will reward myself by getting wasted with some of my best friends (my BFF Jack Daniels will be waiting for me at the finish).
As for the blog, either there will be drunken posts or no posts this weekend. So I hope everyone has a good weekend, and please forgive us if we post some real random shit this weekend.
Oh by the way, if you wake up before 10am on Saturday, say a little prayer for me that I can complete the half marathon without looking like the zombie I was last year!
As for the blog, either there will be drunken posts or no posts this weekend. So I hope everyone has a good weekend, and please forgive us if we post some real random shit this weekend.
Oh by the way, if you wake up before 10am on Saturday, say a little prayer for me that I can complete the half marathon without looking like the zombie I was last year!
Cutting the Military Budget by Only Allowing it to Grow by 4%?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/17/us/politics/17gates.html?ref=global-home
So one of the big criticisms of President Obama and Secretary of Defense Gates is that they are "cutting the defense budget during a time of war." That couldn't be further from the truth. They are cutting certain programs and equipment, but are allocating those funds in different places. The military budget is supposed to be 4% higher for next year than this year. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm not sure how that is cutting the budget. Gates has reccomended cutting the spending on the Air Force F-22, an obscenely expensive fighter jet that has been only used sparingly in Iraq and Afghanistan because it is unreliable. Apparently cutting the spending on the F-22 will cause people to lose jobs and Lockheed-Martin to lose money. But at the same time, Gates is increasing the American order on a cheaper more reliable fighter jet (I'm too lazy to look up the name of it) that would cause there to be more jobs created than lost to the F-22.
That is the perfect example of what Gates and the Obama Administration are doing. Looking at doing things outside of the box, shifting priorities to what works and not what is fanciest. It may not be the most popular way to go about business, but in times of turmoil, it seems like the type of leadership our country needs. It is ashame that it took Bush so long to find Gates, he seems to be a really smart leader with the best interests of our country at heart.
So one of the big criticisms of President Obama and Secretary of Defense Gates is that they are "cutting the defense budget during a time of war." That couldn't be further from the truth. They are cutting certain programs and equipment, but are allocating those funds in different places. The military budget is supposed to be 4% higher for next year than this year. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm not sure how that is cutting the budget. Gates has reccomended cutting the spending on the Air Force F-22, an obscenely expensive fighter jet that has been only used sparingly in Iraq and Afghanistan because it is unreliable. Apparently cutting the spending on the F-22 will cause people to lose jobs and Lockheed-Martin to lose money. But at the same time, Gates is increasing the American order on a cheaper more reliable fighter jet (I'm too lazy to look up the name of it) that would cause there to be more jobs created than lost to the F-22.
That is the perfect example of what Gates and the Obama Administration are doing. Looking at doing things outside of the box, shifting priorities to what works and not what is fanciest. It may not be the most popular way to go about business, but in times of turmoil, it seems like the type of leadership our country needs. It is ashame that it took Bush so long to find Gates, he seems to be a really smart leader with the best interests of our country at heart.
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